St Mary's Church Speldhurst, Kent in the Garden of England Our Church aims; to grow closer to God, to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ andto express God's love in action
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September 2018

Dear Friends,

You may have come across something called the Five Languages of Love. The theory suggests that we each have a preferred way to receive and give love. This isn’t just about marriage or families, it’s also about how we interact with others at work or any place where we have some sort of engagement with people. I find it really helpful in understanding why I feel boosted by being with some people rather than others. I have also found that one size doesn’t fit all and that I can learn to communicate better with someone if I have some idea of their Language of Love.

The five are (in no particular order): Loving Words, Kind Actions, Quality Time, Thoughtful Presents and Physical Affection. There isn’t space to expand on them here but I do recommend investigating them, there’s loads on the Internet about them.

What they have in common is that they require real contact between people. They are much less useful in social media where we interact mostly with technology rather than people. This isn’t to say that social media is a bad thing, it isn’t; it’s just very important not to expect technology to provide what real relationships do.

“Church” means different things to different people. My conviction is that building good quality relationships between people who are genuine and with a loving God is what is at the heart of church when it is healthy. Sometimes we confuse buildings and programmes with loving relationships.

September is a time of fresh starts for schools and many families. Maybe it can be a time for a fresh start with loving relationships for all of us.


PS I can be contacted at or on 01892 862821 or at The Rectory, Southfields, Speldhurst, Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN3 0PD.